Women and men all around the world have moments of self doubt. Surprisingly, it starts at a young age.
Am I smart enough? Do people like me? Will I ever be successful ? These questions may have lingered in your mind at some point in your life.
Perhaps your lack of self-confidence in certain areas started at a young age. In kindergarten, there was a group of girls who judged me for what I wore: My favorite pair of polka dotted pants that happened to have a hole in them. I rocked them though, I thought I looked pretty cute. I mean, my mom, my most favorite person in the world would dress me, how could I look so ugly? Was my mom trying to sabotage me? No, that couldn’t be it. These girls just doubted themselves. Because even at a young age, you start creating self-doubt. For some odd crazy reason, humans just have self-doubt running through their veins. However, before then, I didn’t, unless you count my baby days when I stumbled as I learned how to walk. But as a five year old, I had never put myself in a category that was lower than those girls, I didn’t even differentiate people by the clothes they wore. Being young and unaware of the bigger problems in life, I cried and begged my mom to throw away those polka dotted pants I had loved so much. I never wore the pants again and the girls still made fun of me.
After moving past my kindergarten days, I never fell into peer pressure or completely changed myself so others can let me into their circle. That made me less cool, and over the years, I just accepted it. Although, at one point in my life, I was constantly censoring myself by holding back my real opinions and thoughts. It sucked. I hated having to bite my tongue in fear of saying something too weird and making people turn away.
One day, I realized I was hiding this amazing person behind this grey, ugly wall. I wanted to say those random, silly things I always held back. Note, I do say some pretty weird things, but I have learned that it makes me who I am. Cliche but true.
There are moments I still have self-doubt. Self-doubt in how I look. Self-doubt in how I speak. Self-doubt in my career path. I don’t always feel smart, successful or pretty, but the older I get I have learned that those things don’t matter. A few things I will never doubt about myself is the love I have for others and myself, my morals, the fact that I can now have the confidence to speak up and that I do have the drive to succeed.
I will always have small moments of self-doubt. We all do. It’s okay. Just don’t let it consume you because the effort you put into doubting yourself is the effort you can use to build yourself up.